What makes “you” you?
2018: That’s a complicated and ever changing question as I am a complicated and ever changing woman. I’m everything I was in 2017 (see below), however, my main focus these days is really finding out the bowels of who I am, and what makes “‘me” me. Rediscovering who I am is an exciting, but slow, process. Thus far I’ve re-discovered that I am creator, a positive Pollyanna, a helper outer, a happy gal, a friend, an introvert, an extrovert, a comedian, a detective, a dancer, a lost little girl at heart, an actor, a listener, a supporter. I am someone who can accomplish whatever the hell I decide to accomplish because I am just that awesome. But I am also someone who doesn’t reach too far for her goals because I’m just as scared and lazy. I hope to change that in 2018. I am hopeful.
2017: My inner unabashed goodness My photographic eye. My consistent feeling of youth. And my happy, happy, happy.
If you were going to start your own company, what would it be?
2018: I wouldn’t necessarily want to own my own company. I’d rather just be my own boss. Make what I want when I want. Let my creativity flow on my own time whether it’s my photography, knitting, writing, DIY projects, cooking, You Tube videos of skits with me and the slew of characters I’ve created, etc. I guess you could say my company would be myself. Tanya’s Badass Projects. Or something catchy like that. All the cool people would want in on that shit. 😎
2017: A photography and art store.*
*If you haven’t noticed, my previous answers were all very short. There wasn’t much room to actually write a long explanation in the journal, which is another reason I took on this blogging project.
Do you need a break? From what?
2018: I’ve spent the last two hours pondering this question. I’ve come up with a handful of nouns that I could write down, but the things I’d jot down aren’t items to take a “break” from. They are more of career and lifestyle choices. Changes that I plan on pursuing in 2018, but nothing that would lend itself to being a break.
I don’t need a break from my child. Being divorced from man-child’s Dad, I already get a break from my child due to the custody agreement. I would say that I could use a break from the Colorado cold, but who would I be kidding? It’s been a warm Winter thus far. I guess I don’t need a break. I’m pretty lucky with that aspect of my life at the moment.
2017*: I need a break from work, bills, living at my mom’s house and being a mom. Come on April vacation!
*(the end of 2016 and beginning of 2017 was tough for this gal)
2016: Yes. From people’s hate.
Are you seeking security or adventure?
2018: I am seeking both security, as well as, adventure. However, I am seeking neither from another and both from myself. I am at a point in my life where I feel that if one can not make life fun and live free spirited, then what’s the point? After all, you can’t take it with you when you’re gone. In order to have fun adventures, however, there also needs to be a little secure nest egg here and there. All my security eggs have fallen out of their nests, but there are some opportunities on the horizon that may refill them. That’s the financial security which is important to think about and have, but there’s also emotional security which is even more important. I am developing this exciting aspect of myself further within the coming years. I believe the most important kind of security is the security of self. Life is complicated and stressful enough, don’t make it more so be not being comfortable with who you truly are.
2017: The security of happiness of self
2016; Adventure and the security of love.
What are you looking forward to?
2018: I’m looking forward to writing more often because it is therapeutic for my soul. I’m looking forward to the Spring because Winter smothers my happy and causes a darkness within that frightens me. I’m looking forward to, one day, living by the ocean in a warm climate and calling out to Mother Mother Ocean every morning. I’m looking forward to discovering more about Tanya and loving every minute of my continued growth.
2017: I’m looking forward to the Woman’s March, talking with new people, and getting some good photos today.
Are you holding a grudge? To whom?
2018: I have given up holding grudges. It’s taken a few decades to realize that it does not do the heart good. It only causes stress and sadness because the thoughts of anger or hurt towards the person that has your grudge keep building. By holding a grudge, there is no outlet for that anger and when that anger and pain has nowhere to go, your sanity can *pop* like a red balloon 🎈. By holding a grudge I believe it also gives someone else immense power over you. It’s the power of your mind constantly worrying about what they’ve done to you; and like hell if I’m going to let anyone have that much power.
List three foods you ate today.
2018: Red Vines. PB&J (apricot), Bear Naked cereal.
2017: Turkey sandwich, protein shake, granola bar
2016: Sushi, salad, chips&salsa.
2015: (written in by son) string cheese, fruit strip, Tiger’s Milk bar.
What was peaceful about today?
2018: Walking into my peaceful home after work and collapsing onto my couch was the most peaceful part of my day. It’s so wonderful to have a place that one can feel at peace with oneself.
2017: Letting go of a negative in my life during the Society of Wild Woman session tonight.
What’s the oldest thing you’re wearing today?
2018: The oldest thing I’m wearing today is my blue calming crystal necklace. I received this, long light ocean blue crystal with gold wire wrapped around it, as a gift from one of my really good guy friends back in college. It is hands down one of the nicest gifts I’ve ever received from a guy that I wasn’t dating.
2017: My camisole or moonstone ring. Probably my camisole.
Before the new year I had a plan to answer a daily question from a Q&A a Day journal. A gift I received from my step-mom four years ago, I’ve been writing sporadically in it these past few years, but never daily. This year I had the crazy idea to kill two birds with one stone; while getting my daily Q&A in, I also get my daily writing practice in as well. And as an extras bonus, I’ll include all the answers, if there are any, that were written in during years past. These aren’t going to be long life changing questions or answers, only a lesson in repetition for myself and to make daily writing a habit.
Then the new year whipped past and here it is, the 16th day into 2018 and I haven’t answered one question. My OCD-self is insisting I answer the first 15 questions, however, to prevent burn out, I’m just stating with day 16, because it’s my life and I can do whatever the hell I want.
Do you owe someone money? Does someone owe you money?
2018: It’s easier for me to answer the second of these questions. No one owes me money because I never have any extra money to lend. I do, on the other hand, owe my mom money. It’s more difficult living on my own than I thought and I didn’t save as much money as I could have while living with her last year. Being a single parent is hard as shit and for those single parents who have done this longer than a year, or with multiple children, I commend their strength.
2017: I owe the bank and credit card company money. No one owes me money.
See you tomorrow!